PerryDox – BeJustAChristian

Biblical truth standing on its spiritual head to get our eternal attention.

Psalm 101:3 – Amazing Discoveries

The year is 3483.  Archaeologists have just discovered the ruins of a city, the name of which is still unknown.  What buried treasures lay within this ancient civilization from the last century of the 20th and the first of the 21st century?

The “time travelers” to the past found pictures, amazingly preserved.  Many of the men wore…something constraining around their necks.  They came in a variety of colors, but basically just one shape.  How these ancient males got them around their necks is lost to history.  All that is known is that only men knew the technique of tying this piece of cloth.  Women apparently were forbidden to know the secret.  Apparently, a father teaching his sons was part of a male ritual.  Although it looked uncomfortable and close to choking them, it is presumed these archaic men considered these pieces of cloth tied around their necks to be either a sign of manhood (women did not wear them, and few male children wore them), or possibly a protector against evil powers.  They were only worn with other restrictive clothing.  For some yet unknown reason, these contraptions got uglier around holiday time. The hypothesis is that these contraptions were used as a punishment; therefore the uglier the worse the punishment.  In the year 3483, no one wears things tied around the neck.  We shudder at the constraint.

Another discovery the archaeologists have made are huge so-called “personal computers” that actually needed desks for platforms.  Apparently they were called “personal computers” even though anyone could use them.  Strange name.  Also, keyboards used to type messages seemed so primitive to the visitors to the past.  In our century, computers have shrunk to the size of a thumbnail.  Instead of setting them on desks, computers are now implanted in brains from birth.  Now that is a “personal computer!”

Still another discovery that confounded the historians is something the primitives called “coffee houses.”  According to historical economic records, people could have saved a lot of money by taking the time to make coffee at home.  In fact, almost every house had a coffee maker.  But records also show that these ancients were constantly busy, moving from here to there, from home to work, back and forth every day.  And here is what confounded the archeologists – while not having enough time to make coffee at home, they would stand in line for a period of time even longer to get coffee that cost 5 times as much as they could make in their own homes in their own coffee makers.  The only conclusions these explorers to the past could reach are that either most people had too much money, or standing in line was a fun way to past the time.

The most amazing discovery concerns the religion of these primitive peoples.  Each domicile, or “house” as they called them back then, contained altars to their god(s).  98% of Americans had these sacrificial tables; and yet only 94% of Americans had indoor toilets – which are found in 100% of the “houses” in the year 2483.  Finding altars in “houses” was not what shocked these archaeologists.  Finding so many altars in each home, plus the various sizes they came in though, caught them off-guard.

Apparently most people worshipped in the comfort of their own homes, although some gathered to worship in miscellaneous buildings where they apparently consumed mass quantities of some drink that had literally fermented so much that is smelled badly, tasted worse, and actually had white foam on top.  Apparently losing touch with reality was part of the ecstasy of their religion.  In the future, we don’t drink soured, fomented liquids that make you fall down.  

From their digging into the past, these archeologists have concluded that Americans living around 2007 were incredibly religious.  They bowed before their altars, sometimes as an entire family, but also in their own separate worship centers.  The worship periods would last for hours at a time, on average, about 7 hours per day.  Preschoolers were especially trained in the religious acts, spending 33-54 hours a week.  However, the most religious-minded, probably because of age, were women over 55.  Archaeologists presume the closer to death, the more religious.

There were altars in most every room: bedrooms, kitchens, areas called “living rooms”, and even bathrooms contained these altars.  They weren’t all very large, on average; some were incredibly small.  Many were 32 to 36 inches.

The name of their god?  T.V.

Psalm 101:3 – I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me.

We wouldn’t miss worshipping with God’s people to “worship” TV, would we?

If Archeologists were to discover remnants from our lives, what would they find about God?


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