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Jeremiah 16:1-4 – Which is Worse?
Life can be painful; loneliness can be suffocating, obedience can be a struggle. Often our burdens come from our own sin. Some originate from God. Which is worse – to suffer because of disobedience, or to suffer because of obedience?
Let’s first look at Jeremiah. God commanded Jeremiah not to marry.
Jeremiah 16:1-4 – [1] The word of the Lord also came to me saying, [2] “You shall not take a wife for yourself nor have sons or daughters in this place.” [3] For thus says the Lord concerning the sons and daughters born in this place, and concerning their mothers who bear them, and their fathers who beget them in this land: [4] “They will die of deadly diseases, they will not be lamented or buried; they will be as dung on the surface of the ground and come to an end by sword and famine, and their carcasses will become food for the birds of the sky and for the beasts of the earth.” (NASB)
Jeremiah could not marry. Jeremiah could not have children. This emptiness was not because he was physically unable, but rather God forbade him to. Harsh command. Yet consider the coming national and personal pain inflicted on Judah and its inhabitants due to its expulsion into captivity. Would worrying about a wife and children and loosing them be worth having a wife and children? Sounds similar to another situation where Paul suggested – not commanded – the single life due to the present distress (1 Corinthians 7:26). Can we see that God is trying to protect Jeremiah from future pain? God’s purpose was not to make Jeremiah suffer, but to exchange one type of suffering for another. Sometimes present, short-term anguish saves us from future, life-long sorrow. And yet, the human side longs for contemporary companionship. Maybe, I argue with myself, at least with a wife by his side, Jeremiah could have had some comfort during his own personal suffering…maybe. But not necessarily….
Which is worse, to be commanded not to marry, or to marry knowing you will see your wife and children suffer?
Hosea’s wife, Gomer, was “a wife of harlotry,” and God had commanded that marriage (Hosea 1:2). Hard to believe isn’t it?! Not very comforting, is it? How to interpret the phrase “wife of harlotry” is difficult. Either God told Hosea to marry a woman who would become a prostitute. Or else, Hosea was commanded to wed a woman already practicing prostitution. Either way, God’s precept was not pleasant. It invited pain. What was the purpose of this horrific command? God chose Hosea to represent Himself – what a blessing; and Hosea’s wife was to represent unfaithful Israel – what a curse. Can you imagine being married to a prostitute? God can! Can you visualize the hurt that comes from adultery? God is able to! Can you picture seeing your wife pregnant and knowing (or at least suspecting) that the child is not yours? Look at the name of Hosea’s second child – Lo-ammi (Hosea 1:9). It means, “Not my people.” Considering the whole martial set-up was parabolic, what would naming your child, “not mine” symbolize? God suffers the pain of infidelity which many suffer.
So, which is worse, to be commanded not marry, or commanded to marry someone whom you knew would betray you? Jeremiah’s situation, while still lonely, is not as agonizing. Being single can be better than being married. God knows our pain. Restoration between Hosea and Gomer (and God and Israel) would come (Hosea 3). But even in the healing there is hurt; even in the longing there is loneliness.
Ezekiel, another prophet, is another living parable. God allowed Ezekiel to have a wife; and yet God said something personally dreadful to any loving husband: “Son of man, behold, I am about to take from you the desire of your eyes with a blow; but you shall not mourn, and you shall not weep, and your tears shall not come.” (Ezekiel 24:16) What was taken away? The desire of Ezekiel’s eyes. What was the desire of Ezekiel’s eyes? His wife. God will take her from Ezekiel, and the loving husband is not allowed to mourn outwardly, except to groan silently (v.17). Only by looking at eternity can we even begin to understand. But in this life, is it better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all? Maybe…and only after the hurt has healed. But again, this tremendous blow against Ezekiel’s happiness was parabolic of both God and Israel. Notice what Ezekiel preaches immediately afterwards:
Ezekiel 24:20-24 – [20] Then I said to them, “The word of the LORD came to me saying, [21] ‘Speak to the house of Israel, “Thus says the Lord GOD, ‘Behold, I am about to profane My sanctuary, the pride of your power, the desire of your eyes and the delight of your soul; and your sons and your daughters whom you have left behind will fall by the sword. [22] ‘You will do as I have done; you will not cover your mustache and you will not eat the bread of men. [23] ‘Your turbans will be on your heads and your shoes on your feet. You will not mourn and you will not weep, but you will rot away in your iniquities and you will groan to one another. [24] ‘Thus Ezekiel will be a sign to you; according to all that he has done you will do; when it comes, then you will know that I am the Lord GOD.'” (NAS95)
God knew the loss that Ezekiel suffered. Loss leads to loneliness.
So, which is worse, to be commanded not marry; or commanded to marry a prostitute with whom you would be reconciled with; or commanded to marry someone whom you knew would be taken away from you? Pain comes with many choices. Loneliness comes in many forms.
Job’s wife tempted him to curse God and die (Job 2:9). Some believe that Satan left Job’s wife untouched to torment Job! Some wives are like that! They are a burden that must be carried – and so are some husbands. A marriage that is hard, hurtful, and inhibiting is not one that can be thrown away: 1 Corinthians 7:16 – For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? (NAS95) Marriages that are difficult carry their own kind of pain, suffering, and loneliness.
Which is worse, to be commanded not marry; or commanded to marry a prostitute; or commanded to marry someone whom you knew would be taken away; or to marry someone who will tempt you to hurt God? Different kinds of pain; but all painful nonetheless. Different kinds of loneliness; but loneliness is still an emptiness.
In discussing marriage, Jesus Himself said, Matthew 19:9-12 – [9] “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” [10] The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” [11] But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. [12] “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” (NAS95)
Loneliness is painful; pain itself can be lonely. But there are situations that are worse than loneliness. There are situations lonelier than being alone. Which is worse – to be alone and not married, or married and alone? Again, which is worse – to be alone with God, or alone without God? Heartaches come in many forms. And amazingly, no matter what kind of pain we suffer, God seems to have suffered just like us.
What is this article really about? Three points:
- Let us not be too quick to bemoan our own lives, wishing we lived someone else’s.
- Let us be quick to go to God with our pain, suffering, and anguishes, knowing He has suffered too.
- Let us accept what God has chosen for us.
Which is worse – pain and loneliness without God, or pain and loneliness with God? Life is less painful and less lonely when God is with us… even if obeying God causes us pain and loneliness.
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