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John 11 – The Death of a Loved One – The Opportunities of Pain (Sermon)
The below account is courtesy of Robert Turner:
This story came right out of the heart of my native Kentucky, and I may have scooped Joe Creason with it.
A well-known preacher of the past generation was hurriedly called to preach the funeral of one of two brothers. He had known the two men well in the past years and knew John to be an irresponsible, sinful man, the very antithesis of his brother Ned. John was the town drunkard; Ned was an elder in the church, patiently doing what he could to care for John’s neglected family, and uphold the family name. The preacher felt that the contrast of the two lives was so well understood, even by the family, that any attempt to gloss over John’s sinful life with funeral oratory would be inexcusable hypocrisy. So he chose a direct and factual course.
“’Now we all know the kind of man John was, and our sympathy for his family cannot change the truth. He cheated many of you in business and drank up or gambled away the money that should have gone to his family. He was selfish, ugly-tempered, and a terrible-
The preacher paused as he noticed a man in the audience wave his hand in a ‘shhh’ signal and shake his head negatively. But the preacher was determined to persist in the course he had started.
He continued, “John had no time to serve the Lord. He made no preparations for death or judgment.” By now the man in the audience was waving frantically, so he stopped and addressed the objector. “Well Sir, if you have something good to say for the deceased John, say on.”
“I have nothing good to say for John,” the man replied. “But John ain’t deceased. He’s sitting over there with the family, and the man in the coffin is Ned.”
“If my informant is correct, the preacher remained calm, and turning to the family, said, ‘I’m very sorry about this. But John, you should realize that unless you change your ways, this is the way an honest preacher would have to preach your funeral.”
It makes a better story to stop two paragraphs back; but here I am, wondering what happened to John. You see, I take these Kentucky stories seriously. I’m also wondering if that preacher was ever invited to preach another funeral in that section.” (Robert Turner, “Kentucky Funeral,” Stuff About Things, p.13)
The above story, probably true and not just a “preacher’s story,” is a humorous way to make a serious point. With pain and suffering, even with death, there are opportunities for good. That ole’ preacher, whoever he was, bless his soul, saw an opportunity and ran with it.
On a more serious note, the problem of pain is that it can – emphasize can – be so overwhelming emotionally that it turns us inward, isolating us, and ultimately turning us against others and God. The consequences of that are many and varied, both theological and practical. But to speak plainly and yet possibly obtusely, we do not see the opportunities that come from pain and suffering.
To keep us focused, let’s simply say that one of the problems of pain is that it blinds us from seeing the opportunities for good. The chapter dealing with the death and resurrection of Lazarus (John 11) is filled with opportunities that come because of pain – and sometimes only because of pain.
Most if not all of the points listed below will come under the category of glorifying God. There are good hearted people who believe that when the Bible says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28 NASB),” that the Holy Spirit means that there is a reason for everything that happens. I admire such faith and courage that can stand strong in the face of suffering. But I am afraid it is a misinformed faith. God does not cause the death of little babies, or older parents because He wants another angel in heaven. The Bible does not teach that everything that happens is due to God’s providential care. In the beginning, God placed physical laws into place that help to govern the universe and world.
However, and this is important, the Bible does teach that no matter what happens, we can find a way to glorify God which allows God to glorify Himself. Jesus used the death of Lazarus to glorify God much like God will use Jesus’ death unto His glory latter on. The concept of glorifying God in the gospel of John is a powerful concept. The word glory/ doxa (1391) appears 19 times in John, more than any of the other gospels. The only other NT book equal in use is 2 Corinthians (also with 19). Romans has it 16 times and Revelation, 17 times. And then if we add the related word doxazo (1392) (translated variously) which occurs 23 times in John, and never in double digits elsewhere, we can see that this is an important concept within John.
Here is something interesting about the word doxa (i.e., glory). The primary meaning is “opinion” (Thayer, p.155). By glorifying God we are expressing an opinion about Him to God and to others. Another meaning associated with glory is “light, splendor, brightness.”
In John, glory often comes after and because of suffering.
- John 11:4 NASB But when Jesus heard this, He said, “This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it.”
- John 11:40 NASB Jesus *said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
- John 7:39 NASB But this He spoke of the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive; for the Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.
- John 12:16 NASB These things His disciples did not understand at the first; but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things were written of Him, and that they had done these things to Him.
- John 12:23 NASB And Jesus *answered them, saying, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.
- John 12:28 NASB “Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came out of heaven: “I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.”
- John 13:31 NASB Therefore when he had gone out, Jesus *said, “Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in Him;
- John 13:32 NASB) if God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and will glorify Him immediately.
- John 17:5 NASB) “Now, Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.
Let us see how God can be glorified despite and because of pain and suffering.
I. THE OPPORTUNITY TO LET GOD GLORIFY HIMSELF
First, there is the obvious pain of death, and the equally obvious resurrection. Jesus did not say that God caused Lazarus’ sickness and death, but did promise that God could be glorified through the event.
John 11:4,15 HCSB When Jesus heard it, He said, “This sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” (15) I’m glad for you that I wasn’t there so that you may believe. But let’s go to him.”
While it is of course, obvious, sometimes the obvious becomes oblivious because we take it for granted. Therefore sometimes the obvious needs to be stated very plainly. There could not have been a resurrection without the death of Lazarus. As glorious as the resurrection was, it could not have happened with pain and suffering.
II. THE OPPORTUNITY TO PUT PAIN INTO PERSPECTIVE
Two, there is the opportunity to put pain – even death – into perspective:
John 11:11 NASB This He said, and after that He *said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I go, so that I may awaken him out of sleep.”
I have always been amazed and impressed that sleep is a metaphor for death. John Dunn wrote a famous sonnet that I first saw in High School:
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so,
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure: then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell;
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.
Jesus taught this truth,
John 11:25-26 NASB Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, (26) and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”
III. THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW COURAGE
Third, there is the opportunity to show spiritual courage. This is seen by the apostles (especially Thomas).
John 11:8,16 HCSB (8)”Rabbi,” the disciples told Him, “just now the Jews tried to stone You, and You’re going there again?” (16) Then Thomas (called “Twin”) said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go so that we may die with Him.”
Not everything in John 11 is about the death and resurrection of Lazarus. There is other suffering going on – religious persecution. Jesus had escaped being stoned by the Jews before (Jn.8:59). And now He is willing to go back. The disciples, especially Thomas, show courage and walk to their possible death. The apostles are hiding with Jesus and are willing to be revealed and therefore reviled with Jesus.
When Jesus brings back to life His dear, dead friend, there will be an intensified persecution (John 11:47-57). Just as pain brings opportunity for good; righteousness brings opportunity for evil.
One of the difficult times that we as Christians might face in this country is persecution. Freedom of religion is being eroded and degraded. Already in Winston-Salem, “sectarian prayers” in government forums are against the law – which is being appealed. Not allowing certain behaviors might lead to punishing those behaviors if such is civilly disobeyed.
But let’s make another application here. Courage is needed in all areas of suffering, whether through persecution or the death of a loved one. Sometimes great courage is shown just by being there when needed, just by not abandoning our friends.
One last point here, some suffering happens and we do not understand the cause. But suffering caused by hatred, jealousy, insecurity and such is just as real as physical suffering from death, and just as inescapable.
IV. THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONFESS OUR BELIEF
Fourth, there is the opportunity to confess our belief. A heavy heart that confesses is a heart that truly believes. Pain and suffering often runs counter to confession. A friend of mine once suggested that if you know an atheist, ask them one simple but profound question – “What happened to cause you to not believe?”
Martha confessed her belief in life in the face of death.
John 11:24,27 HCSB (24) Martha said, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” (27) “Yes, Lord,” she told Him, “I believe You are the Messiah, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”
In funerals there is far more faith being expressed than doubt, fear, or anger.
Ecclesiastes 7:2 NASB It is better to go to a house of mourning Than to go to a house of feasting, Because that is the end of every man, And the living takes it to heart.
Come to think of it, I have never been to a funeral of an atheist. The old tombstone of an atheist that said, “All dressed up and no place to go” is false. They do have some place to go. I guarantee you, there might be an atheist’s body in the coffin, but their eternal soul believes!
By the way, what do you get if you have an Agnostic who suffers from both Dyslexia and Insomnia? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a Dog.
Death, pain, and suffering gives us an opportunity to declare that yes, in spite of all that is obviously wrong in our life, we believe there is something divinely right.
V. THE OPPORTUNITY TO FOCUS ON THE FUTURE
Fifth, sometimes we need reminding that the true life is yet to come, this world is not our home.
John 11:24 NASB Martha *said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.”
Too often in life, we live so much in the present, that we forget the future.
2 Timothy 4:6-8 HCSB For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time for my departure is close. (7) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (8) In the future, there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me, but to all those who have loved His appearing.
VI. THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRAY
Sixth, there is the opportunity to pray. Jesus prayed to God, before all. There is power in prayer, and when times are difficult or bad, we are reminded of that power.
John 11:41-42 HCSB So they removed the stone. Then Jesus raised His eyes and said, “Father, I thank You that You heard Me. (42) I know that You always hear Me, but because of the crowd standing here I said this, so they may believe You sent Me.”
It seems to be “very human” of us to forget to pray as much during times of prospering, as during times of trial.
There is not only the opportunity to pray, but to pray with and for others too.
VII. THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW COMPASSION
Seventh, there is the opportunity to show compassion.
John 11:31 HCSB The Jews who were with her in the house consoling her saw that Mary got up quickly and went out. So they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to cry there.
One of the most difficult problems within Theism, especially Christianity, is the innocent suffering of children. How can God allow little ones to endure cancer, or even worse? How can God allow such sinful atrocities perpetrated upon the children?
First, let’s understand that God will hold such people accountable (Mt.18:6). Second, I cannot even attempt to thoroughly answer this question even if I had an eternity to try. Third, mankind at his worst becomes mankind at his best when responding to the suffering of children. Showing compassion, generosity, and other positive qualities when it comes to helping children is intensified and we all seem to remember the image of God within. Maybe man is so wicked most of the time that this is the only way for God to get our attention.
Before moving on, let’s examine this one a little more thoroughly. If you are like me, knowing exactly how to show compassion can be confusing. If you are like me, you have said the wrong thing, not said the right thing, and in general felt worse after trying because you think you made the other person feel worse. May I suggest that John 11 gives us a clue on how to show compassion? Maybe our problem is that we decide how to show compassion based upon the wrong criteria – what makes us comfortable. Maybe we can learn from Jesus in that he consoled Martha and Mary differently. Maybe He consoled them differently because they mourned differently.
With Martha, she is more proactive; she heard Jesus was coming, and went to meet Him. Mary waited until called, and then falls at Jesus’ feet. Martha is more verbal, while both Martha and Mary begin the same way, Martha continues on with her verbal mourning. Mary simply weeps.
So with Martha, Jesus gives more verbal encouragement. With Mary it is quiet empathy. She cries, so Jesus cries.
John 11:20-27 HCSB As soon as Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him. But Mary remained seated in the house. (21) Then Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died. (22) Yet even now I know that whatever You ask from God, God will give You.” (23) “Your brother will rise again,” Jesus told her. (24) Martha said, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” (25) Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live. (26) Everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die—ever. Do you believe this?” (27) “Yes, Lord,” she told Him, “I believe You are the Messiah, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.”
John 11:28-35 HCSB Having said this, she went back and called her sister Mary, saying in private, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” (29) As soon as she heard this, she got up quickly and went to Him. (30) Jesus had not yet come into the village but was still in the place where Martha had met Him. (31) The Jews who were with her in the house consoling her saw that Mary got up quickly and went out. So they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to cry there. (32) When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet and told Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died!” (33) When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, He was angry in His spirit and deeply moved. (34) “Where have you put him?” He asked. “Lord,” they told Him, “come and see.” (35) Jesus wept.
Suffering and pain gives us the opportunity to show compassion, and to learn to give what others need, not what makes us feel comfortable.
VIII. THE OPPORUTNITY TO SHARE WITH CHRIST
Eight is the opportunity to share in the sufferings of Christ. By this, I do not mean what Paul did in Colossians 1:24.
Colossians 1:24 NASB Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body, which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions.
What I do mean is that when we suffer, we can bring to mind the memory and reality of Christ’s suffering. As real as ours is, so was His.
Within the narrative of the resurrection of Lazarus, we have the cryptic comment that Jesus was troubled (John 11:33). If we only see this in reference to the immediate situation, we will miss the larger picture presented by the gospel writer.
John 11:33 NASB When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled,
Jesus was not just deeply moved but also troubled. This is an inner stirring, an inward agitation. Seven times in occurs in John. The first two describing “troubled waters” (John 5:4).
John 11:33 NASB When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled,
John 12:27 NASB “Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour.
John 13:21 NASB When Jesus had said this, He became troubled in spirit, and testified and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, that one of you will betray Me.”
John 14:1 NASB “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.
John 14:27 NASB “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.
Just as Jesus was “troubled” and yet at peace, we can share in His suffering, be troubled by life, and yet at peace with God.
IX. THE OPPORTUNITY TO RESURRECT SPIRITUALLY
The ninth and final opportunity that we can pursue is connected to glorifying God in another way. We can take the real story of a real man and real death followed by a real resurrection, and apply it spiritually. I am spiritually dead, but can live again.
John 11:25-26 NASB Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, (26) and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”
I submit to you a short little adaptation by Joe R. Barnett called, “You Can Start Over,” which is based upon Crime and Punishment, by Fyodar Dostoyevsky.
Raskolnikoff crept in the dead of night to the squalid hovel where Sonia lived. Raskolnikoff, a murderer. Sonia, a prostitute.
The room was sparsely furnished…a bedstead…a chair…a rickety table…a small chest of drawers.
On the table stood a candle in a battered copper candlestick.
“…you are a great sinner,” says Raskolnikoff. “Tell me how this shame and degradation can exist in you side by side with other, opposite, holy feelings?”
He saw how monstrously the thought of her disgraceful life was torturing her.
“There are three ways before her,” he thought, “the canal, the madhouse, or…at last to sink into depravity which obscures the mind and turns the heart to stone.” He could not help believing that the last end was the most likely.
There was a book lying on the chest of drawers. He took it up and looked at it. It was the New Testament – bound in leather, old and worn.
“Where is the story of Lazarus? Find it for me, Sonia. Find it and read it to me.”
Haven’t you read it? She asked.
“Long ago…When I was at school. Read!”
“And haven’t you heard it in church?”
“I…haven’t been. Do you often go?
“N-no,” she whispered.
“Read”
Sonia hesitated. Her heart was throbbing.
“Read! I want you to,” he persisted.
Sonia opened the book and found the place. Her hands were shaking, her voice failed her. Twice she tried to begin and could not bring out the first syllable.
“Now a certain man was sick named Lazarus of Bethany…” she forced herself at last to read….
“Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in Me though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in Me shall never die. Believest thou this?
“She said unto Him…”
Drawing a painful breath, Sonia read distinctly and forcibly as though she were making a public confession of faith…
“Yea, Lord: I believe that Thou art the Christ, the Son of God Which should come into the world.”
She trembled feverishly. The candle was flickering out, dimly lighting the faces of the murderer and the prostitute who had been reading together the eternal book. (Paraphrase and quotations from Crime and Punishment, by Fyodar Dostoyevsky. Thomas Sercombe declared that, for poignancy and emotional intensity, there is nothing in modern literature to equal this scene.)
Sometimes, and sadly so, the only way God can get our attention is through pain and suffering. If you know someone spiritually dead that needs awaken, maybe you need to pray that God will put them in a situation that will awaken them spiritually, just as Jesus awaken Lazarus physically – both from death.
None of us want to have a funeral where the preacher tells the truth if that truth is that we are lost for an eternity.
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