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Humor – Christian Football
Have you heard of Christian Football? I don’t know where I got this list, although I will admit that the last definition is mine.
- Pass: What many in bible class do when asked to answer a question.
- Quarterback Sneak: Church members who quietly exit following the Lord’s Supper, a quarter of the way through the service, or near the last quarter of the service.
- Draft Choice: Selection of a seat near the door.
- Draw Play: What too many children (and a few adults) do with their attendance cards or bulletins.
- Half-time: The time between Bible school and preaching.
- Benchwarmer: Those whose only participation is their attendance on Sunday morning.
- Fumble: Dropping a song book, singing the wrong verse and general inattention to the service.
- Backfield in Motion: Making two or three trips out of the auditorium during the sermons (Public schools don’t permit this.)
- Stay in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should go toward the local work.
- Two Minute Warning: When the preacher begins extending the invitation, giving everyone time to shuffle song books and gather belongings.
- Sudden Death: The preacher going overtime.
- Blitz: The stampede for the doors after services.
- Halfback Option: When 50% of the congregation does not return Sunday evening (or Wednesday evening).
- Long Bomb: What we all hope this sermon won’t be. You hope it won’t be long. I hope it won’t bomb.
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